Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Quest for Happy (or) "My Dog's Name is Woofles"

"Hello Edy where the heck have you been?"

I been doin' dis and dat. Lil' Ulduar. Lil' guild drama. Lil' achievementing. Lil' soul searchin' and rescued a stray puppy.

Whats this? What kinda damn answer was that? Well dear reader Edy has been bustin' her ass and having her calm tested for the last few days. Lets start with raiding. This past Wednesday your girl was back in the cold gates of ulduar taking in the sights and busting an arrow in many an iron dwarf. Managed to down 3 bosses that night but I had to come to a very painful crossroads and had to make an admition to myself that BM, as much as I love it and always will, was not going to put out the numbers I need to be truly completely raid useful to the people I run with. I also had to admit it wasn't fair to the people I run with to not try and fix that. Solution. I went back to that damned SV tree and by God this time it works. I dont know what I was doing wrong first time that was killing my dps. Exact same rotation. Spec isn't that much different just a point or two moved around. Either way it works and even if i fuck up my rotation timing a bit I still maintain 3k dps pretty easy. Its about time that Dual spec paid off for Edy, and now as BM/SV I can easily have my utility when I need it in a pet tank and put out the big numbers when I have to. I used our second ulduar day as my testing ground and the change was very clear and I must say makes me feel good to not feel like the dead weight in the run.

Now in the days between some guild drama went down and we lost 2 more members (one of which I could kiss for leaving) to a guild supposedly wanting to help us progress in the end game. Over all the course of this infection in M.A.S. I have become somewhat jaded as to caring what people what to do or dont want to do. That said however I personally have had to deal with tons of drama I sure as hell want nothing to do with as well as revolations that certain members feel there is an elitest mindset in M.A.S. itself. I was not aware pulling favors with a guild I have become good friends with over time to try and get some folks some experience and gear (folks might I add have put forth effort to progress on their own anyway) was being an elitest. I have never been a recruiter as I dont like people in general so I work with what I have aquired over time to help those that have shown the desire to do something for themselves. That however limits my ability to help but in no way makes me an elitest. I am not in charge of these runs but whatever I wont rant about that any longer it gives me a headache and really does nothing to make me want to interact with the guild I truly love.

Now I have been in flux trying to find my happy place in game again. I love instancing and raiding its where I feel I shine and even though the fights dont really change alot split second flubs/choices make for fun times for me when I have to test my skills in my class. The fact BM is so far behind MM/SV the last weeks I have been having a hard time with that happy. I had even reached the point i didnt even want to raid anymore. SV has given me that little bit of piece of mind back. I dont love it but its more fun that it was the first time I tried and as such I think I think can deal with it until blizzard can (if ever) fixes my beloved BM tree. Also in my quest for happy I have sadly found my self distancing myself from the guild I love so much. I think I have just gotten too used to running with people that are where I am in terms of skill I just really haven't felt like dealing with short tempers on learning runs, trying to teach lil' role things that should be known before reaching this level, lack of commitment, and the shooting star syndron a few get telling them to reach further and faster than they really have the ability to. I do admit fault and I could probably more to show but I honestly have no desire to explain every single aspect of everything. I am not a leader by desire. I wont be the person teaching do this this and this to explode the charts cause I dont know that kind of stuff myself well enough to teach anybody. I can only find my happy and move from there. Its a work in process.

Lastly I picked up a stray in my transition to SV raiding. His name is Woofles and anybody that is a fan of the comic Squee you will know where I got the name and he is a good puppy so far. Snuggles probably isn't keen on having to share my attention but honestly I dont have the heart to have him die all the time in raids when I am SV and also that boost from Woofles' howl makes for a nice boost. I might end up being all snuggles all the time again over time but I think my Snuggle-butt has earned his little vacation. Maybe I wil test he waters with Snuggles in our Naxx 10 attempt tonight.

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